other girls: makeup, fake eyelashes, seventeen magazine, penny loafers, cashmere sweaters

me: smoking, daddy issues, existential torment, walking into rooms at inopportune times

guys i just thought about this, but i really hope heather wasn’t around when cliff brought that mariachi band to mindy’s apartment! ouch!!!!!


tagged → #yaaaaaaaaaa


so are people just insulting john green for anything now, even things he has literally no ability to impact or control or even contributed anything toward? are we blaming him for late capitalism? how about the industrial revolution’s effect on the environment? god damn john green, I hate you for giving Ayn Rand the idea for objectivism

Are you sure you wanna know what this is all about?

What Sexual Violence Looks Like


I realize what I’m opening myself up to here, but I think it’s important.

I was blown away by the rape scene on tonight’s Game of Thrones. I turned to my husband and said, “That doesn’t happen in the books. Jaime would never rape Cersei. She is 100% on board with the altar sex.”

But then I re-read the scene in A Storm of Swords and realized that the scene, at best, can be called a dubious consent situation.

Tonight was the second time Game of Thrones has translated a “dubious consent” situation from the books to undoubtedly rape on screen.

Is the show really that obsessed with sexual violence?

Or is it possible that the dubious consent situations are rape and always have been and that talking about gray areas when it comes to rape is almost always sketchy and at the expense of the victim and that by removing any question before sending the scene out to millions of viewers the show allows us to see these scenes for what they really are?

In the books, Cersei very clearly tells Jaime no first.

"No," she said weakly when his lips moved down her neck, "not here. The Septons…"

We do not get to see Cersei’s point of view. Perhaps in her mind, she wasn’t raped. Perhaps her understanding was completely one of I-want-to-but-I’m-scared-convince-me.

But it’s also true that assuming that Cersei felt that way is exactly what happens with rape all the time. She wanted it. She said no, but she didn’t mean it. She said no, but she just needed some convincing.

Cersei does give consent before any penetration happens.

"Hurry," she was whispering now, "quickly, quickly, now, do it now, do me now. Jaime Jaime Jaime.” Her hands helped guide him. “Yes,” Cersei said as he thrust, “my brother, sweet brother, yes, like that, yes, I have you, you’re home now, you’re home now, you’re home.”

Before that, Jaime lifted her up and had to push her legs apart. Before that, Cersei pounded on his chest. And then she consented.

Again, perhaps Cersei’s consent was genuine. But her consent didn’t matter to Jaime.

After she says no, Jaime completely ignores her.

"The Others can take the septons." He kissed her again, kissed her silent, kissed her until she moaned … She pounded on his chest with feeble fists, murmuring about the risk, the danger about their father, about the septons, about the wrath of gods. He never heard her.”

(Bolded by me.)

Had Cersei not changed her mind, had she continued to pound his chest and tell him no, would he have stopped? Would he have suddenly pulled away and accepted the fact that she was not consenting to what they were doing?

We don’t get to know that, because Cersei does end up consenting. She consents in a situation where she is physically incapable of defending herself and where her “nos” go unheard.

The scene is somewhat similar to Daenerys’ wedding night, besides the (hugely important) fact that Dany is 13.

Dany has no physical defense. She does consent, but only after openly crying. She’s been sold and knows sex is required of her. Dany consents, but her consent doesn’t matter. Dany was raped, despite the vast number of readers who insist she wasn’t.

Similarly, Cersei consents, but only after every indication has pointed toward the idea that her consent doesn’t matter.

A lot of the time, this is what rape looks like. It’s not often stranger danger, beating and battering. It can also very well involve rapists who aren’t aware they’re raping (because victims fight to death and never end up acquiescing to protect themselves, right?), who have been so conditioned to believe they have the right that they don’t ever wait for permission, who convince themselves that no means yes, or try harder, or who literally tune out protestations. I don’t believe Jaime would consider himself a rapist.

Re-reading the scene changed the way I view the scene in the show. I appreciate that Game of Thrones made it clear that Dany was a victim of rape. So many people argue that the showrunners are clearly obsessed with rape because of that slight change. It should be unquestionable that she was raped in the books. Unfortunately, rape culture makes it so that when she consented to Khal Drogo, many readers assumed it was well and good. She consented! How could it be rape when the slave child actually uttered the words “yes”?

But it was rape.

Cersei also consented. Unlike Dany, she isn’t 13, nor is she technically a slave (though she is still a woman in Westerosi society and frightfully devoid of power for being so utterly powerful). But how many times did she have to say no? How hard did she have to pound on Jaime’s chest?

He wasn’t listening to her. He didn’t care what she said. That is what rape looks like.

"Sally Draper’s Secret Dorm Party" is a great playlist this is the only thing I’m ever listening to again

My Rae of sunshine shining bright,
My Rae makes everything seem alright.

tagged → #my mad fat diary #queued

February 14: Masturbate gloomily.

tagged → #mad men #queued
tagged → #miss that fool #mad men

i just rewatched the episode of himym where marshall can only fantasize about other women if he first fantasizes that lily has died of a tragic illness and he has gone through the proper grieving process

everyone in the show thinks this is creepy, yet this is exactly what eventually happens in ted’s narrative I DON’T GET THIS SHOW